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WHO IS JACK SCHITT?? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.
Jack is the only son of Awe
Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate,
married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt,
and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt,
Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt
and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After 15 years of marriage, Jack
& Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr.
Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate
her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married a woman named
Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt.
The couple produced a nervous
son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt,
inseparable throughout childhood, subsequently married the Happens
brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children
were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned home from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.
So, NOW if someone says "You
don't know Jack Schitt", you can beg to differ. You
not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!
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